wind blows deeply

I awoke this morning certain of the time for the church service. Perhaps it's because I haven't been in a while, but I was only an hour off. So I went online to find "The Call" as suggested by Atticus. While searching for other books to reach the free shipping amount for my basket I came across this one; it's on backorder but the excerpt struck a chord.

A God-ordained vision will begin as a concern. You will hear or see something that gets your attention... Unlike many passing concerns, these will stick with you. You will find yourself thinking about them in your free time. You may lose sleep over them. You won't be able to let them go because they won't let you go.

Nehemiah's concern over the condition of Jerusalem consumed him... So what did he do? Nothing. He did absolutely nothing... He chose to wait. Nehemiah knew what so many of us have a hard time remembering: What could be and should be can't be until God is ready for it to be. So he waited...

The story of Nehemiah... illustrates the truth that a clear vision does not necessarily indicate a green light to begin... A vision rarely requires immediate action. It always requires patience.

"Visioneering", Andy Stanley

Read more about Nehemiah or a series by Darryl Dash (live, prepare, share, protect, distractions).

I have been trying to figure a lot of things out lately. Part of it is my ongoing discussion with Atticus on a previous post: understanding God's call. (Or, better put, understanding waiting.) Part of it is having had a very long week at work and still feeling exhausted when another week is about to begin (my two year itch even thought I've now been here three). Part of it is about relationships (why is the search so hard; shouldn't I be pursued and not doing the pursuing; do I even want a relationship right now).

So what did I find this afternoon?
Ps 37:4-7a "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."
Ps 57:2 "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me."
Phil 1:6 "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."
1 Thes 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?”
2 Kings 6:15

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ
Colossians 4:2-3a (ESV)

I'm not sure exactly how the passages fit together just yet. I assume it has something to do with waiting and Africa.

The first passage was highlighted recently by a friend. Elisha's job was to focus the king's attention on God. His servant should have fully understood this. Yet when they were surrounded by the army, the servant took his eyes off of God and started to freak out. Only after Elisha requested that his eyes be opened did the servant see the full context.

The second reminds me that any opportunity to be a part of God's work comes with our prior request in prayer. None of this is about me at all.

Dear God is a global project for people around the world to share their innermost hopes - and fears - through prayer.

It doesn’t matter what your version of God is … Jesus, Allah, Buddha or simply a spiritual universal energy...

Share your prayers here and help us create hope one prayer at a time. Simply send us your personal letter to your God and/or a picture that sums up your message visually. (Dear God will source a picture if you don’t have one).

Shane wrote recently about the trends in Christian literature:

The results of this from what I can see have been: theologically shallow sermons, biblically illiterate churches, confused worldviews, and a trend to exegete the Bible based on culture rather than exegeting the culture with the Bible.

Evangelicals, by and large, don't tend to think theologically about different positions they hold or beliefs that they have. Recent surveys have shown that the majority of Evangelicals don't even think Christianly. The result being that many times in our beliefs and behavior we don't really look that much different than the world we should desire to influence.

It suddenly came to me: I often don't anticipate love (or gestures thereof). I am caught off guard. I stumble a moment or two, catch my balance and continue on. Wouldn't it be great if I lived every moment in great expectation and anticipation?
It would change how I relate to God, how I interact with a beau, how I care for my family and how I build into my friendships.

“What need has God of categories? Why sort and catalog a collection when you know and can describe every individual item? What meaning do your base labels have for a higher mind? You have created categories for your own use, fallen in love with sorting them, and made a god of the whole affair. This is an idolatry of the highest order. It is a blasphemy so bold as to cause angels to tremble. ‘The mind of The Almighty,’ you say, ‘is like unto my own mind.’”

“God is on intimate terms with the simple matter of earth, yet you dare label people instead of trying to know them. Your precious divisions of nationality, of Christian and non-Christian, saved and damned, good and evil, slave and free. These convenient memory aids might have served you well when you were biting spiritual ankles and wrestling with your primers. Will you not set them aside even now?”

Continue reading Grit & Gravel at RealLivePreacher

May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

It's not that I don't love God but I just don't get church.
said during a recent conversation with c mostly about relationships and little about God/church

Here's the plan: I'm going to borrow an idea from a fellow blogger: The Living Room.
united in our passion for Jesus and our desire to explore what it means to be followers of him

Want to join in the gathering? Drop me a note or give me a ring and we'll figure this out together.

Aspirations
Our aim is to keep our gatherings simple, relaxed, accessible and culturally natural as possible. We don't want to be continually extracting people from 'real life' but rather see our meetings as launching pad into the rest of our week. It is our hope that these times do not have a purely inward focus but rather resource us for the rest of our lives.

Core Values
Apostles' Creed

The Inner Journey – Connection with Jesus
a commitment to develop spiritual formation of members. Through culturally relevant and creative forms of prayer, reflection, engaging with Scripture, learning and worship TLR seeks to create an environment where people grow in their own relationship with God.

The Outer Journey – Connection with our World
a commitment to encourage and resource members on a journey of service justice and mission to others. TLR seeks to both provide opportunities for corporate mission and to support and resource individuals in their own daily mission. We seek to keep in balance our call to be counter cultural but also Incarnational and Relational in our outward journey.

Together Journey – Connection with One Another
a commitment to travel the inward and outward journeys in community. TLR seeks to develop inclusive community through hospitality, inspiration from Scripture, shared life disciplines and intentional involvement in one an others lives.

Yesterday I went to church. For most of you this isn't surprising. What was surprising for me is that I resisted every minute of it.
Not in the sense of needing to be anywhere else. Not in the sense of questioning every bit of theology. I simply kept looking at my watch in hopeful anticipation of the end of the service.
Yesterday I did not want to be in church.
Yesterday, chances are that I felt obligated to be in church.
I know all about community, the need for it, the command for it. I know churches are made up of people and that people aren't perfect, that people will hurt you, that people will let you down.
While I still am passionate about my faith, something has happened these last few months that makes me wonder where organized religion will fit into my life.

So, is [the Anabaptist Eucharist] just a meal?!
No! When you share a meal together it is never just a symbol. It is always time spent together, being mutually built up, and sharing life together. And I want to suggest that when a church rediscovers communion as a full meal, then they rediscover something important about themselves. That is, church isn’t just a series of events or religious rituals; it is a sharing of life together.
So, what does a covenant meal do? It reconciles, forms and restores us!
In the breaking of bread, the community is recreated. The transformation that happens is of people, not things.
Leaving Münster

Jordon wrote a few thoughts in his review of "Organic Community" (Joe Myers) that caught my attention.

:: For some reason, many men cling to the idea that their pastor needs to be a visionary leader, perhaps to justify their involvement in the church.
:: True community and traditional churches are incompatible. Part of the problem is the idea of a pastoral calling being a career and also the view that church leaders are interchangeable parts that can be swapped in and out for the good of the community.
:: The leader/pastor has been so ingrained in how we see the church and we have spent so much time building him or her up, it is going to take a long time and a lot of discussion for the church to move away from it. Ironically, for the first bit, it may even take a strong leader to have the church to stop thinking in terms of heirarchical leadership and start thinking in terms of community.

The first chapter, Organic Order, he relates the story of a woman who led a conference workshop:

"The fact is, for about 90 percent of the participants, our time together was a process of learning. They came expecting to learn. And almost all of them were excited to share their own techniques, too.
But I was not prepared for the other 10 percent. These people expected me to deliver a ‘checklist/bullet-point/how-to plan’ ... It caught me by surprise, and it distracted me from much of what I’d planned to do."

While Myers' book is about church community, the woman's story caught my attention in relation to an entirely different context. Perhaps I'm allowed to draw a parallel.
I mentor students as part of my job. It always brings a little bit of trepidation though; half are incredibly keen, soaking up anything you pass their way, and the rest are merely putting in their time. Because they are coming to gain real life experience, all hang tightly on to their safe textbook explanations of the way things are. So how do I create an environment in which they can become passionate, motivated, self-directed learners?

What should churches do for singles? The best thing would be to lovingly tell them the truth. The fact is, no matter how much you want to be married, that may not be God's plan for you right now. It is up to you to work hard at figuring out what He wants you to learn about yourself, or what He intends you should do with your life. It's about you and Him. Not about you and getting what you want from Him. The church should speak the truth, then provide a safe and supportive community in which to live it out.
Jan @ The View From Her

Lyndon had another good post on church recently. I blogged about a previous one here and had my own thoughts on finding God before that. Here's an excerpt from his latest:

I think I should wander over to LT's more often. He talks about a recent (free and downloadable) book entitled "So you don't want to go to church anymore."

Every time we use an external system to motivate people towards a spiritual end we run the risk of obscuring the spiritual reality. For many spiritual growth isn't much more than establishing positive habits based on biblical principles. We use awards and social approval to reward these good habits. Unfortunately when we do this people end up serving the ideals of a sub-culture when they think we are serving Jesus. When circumstances become difficult or the influence of that sub-culture is removed the whole framework comes down like a house of cards.

A few weeks ago, during one of the last Bible studies I would lead for the young adults, we discussed spiritual disciplines in the context of God's presence. One individual mentioned that he was listening to a sermon online and the speaker mentioned that he locked himself in his closet for an hour, praying and meditating, until he was aware of God's presence.
Another individual, who had spent some time in prison, mentioned that since being released he was having a difficult time maintaining the same amount of time in prayer, study and meditation.
The question I had, but didn't ask the group, was why do we have a need to retreat in order to "find God"? Churches have prayer retreats and women's retreats and men's retreats and youth retreats. One can sign up to visit a hermitage. We find tiny corners in our homes in which we do our devotions.
Why are we so unable to be aware of God in our everyday mundane moments? Why do we retreat when we should be present?

"Witnessing is what I was taught to do - to evangelize and tell people about Jesus. Witnessing assumes a fundamental chasm between yourself (as the one with all the knowledge and insight) and them (who need converting.) And, of course, there may be a place for that kind of activity BUT, to paraphrase James, witness without with-ness is dead."

(HT: Meg)

"Reality is, at times, overpowering. The input from our senses drowns out the imagination, it limits our thinking, it shackles us to immovable weights. It narrows the options, and makes us think small things.

Imagination is more powerful than reality. It is reality-changing. It is world-shaping. It is necessary for seeing the world as it can be, and not how our narrow, deceived senses tell us it is."

(HT: Greg)

Friday evening there was an accident outside, errr, "in" my church building. Two vehicles collided at the intersection, pushing one of the vehicles through the front doors. Many tongue in cheek comments could be, and have been, made (sure, they're breaking down the doors of the church).
The statement that caught my attention was: "no one was inside the church at the time." And the wee small voice inside my head asked with an ache, "why not?"

I recall I conversation I had as a teenager with my mother. At some point during the conversation I commented that "I didn't want to do anything" [wrt: what do you want to do later in life?]. I was not intending to be facetious. Yet I'm not sure exactly what I meant. Probably something along the lines of I don't want to do anything, I just want to be (to exist).
As I reflect on Lent, and my omission of fasting this year, I wonder if God wasn't trying to show me that I need to slow down, to get stuff off my plate, to say no even if it seems like a fantastic opportunity. Maybe I need to back off on the doing and start working on the being.

I am a fan of liturgy. While I realize all churches have a liturgy of some sort whether it be the structure of a Catholic mass or the 25-5-30 format.
So, to clarify, I love the traditional liturgy. Hand me the Book of Common Prayer. Tell me what year and Sunday of common time we are in. Light some candles. Greet one another with 'Peace be with you'. Follow scripture readings with 'Thanks be to God'.
Regardless of your preferred liturgy, I think Jared made some good points ...

One gentleman asked what I thought about liturgy. I said that it was the food of the church. I talked about how some things in Christianity are moments of power, sacraments, sermons, stuff like that. Where you hear or do something and immediately reflect on it and your life. Liturgy, however, changes you slowly. It’s like water eroding the bank of a river, slowly forming you after a certain image. Because of the slow nature of liturgical formation, that made it much more powerful . . . and much more dangerous. Because it meant that bad liturgy, or liturgy with questionable theology, could form you in ways of which you were unaware. So, we should be careful with our liturgy, because it’s a pretty powerful thing.

And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
Isaiah 58:11a

Tomorrow is Shrove Tuesday (a.k.a. Mardi Gras); one last day of indulgence before Lent begins on Ash Wednesday. I'm pretty sure pancakes will be on the cafeteria menu tomorrow.

Tonight, if anyone comes, I will be discussing Lent. Hopefully I will be able to tie in a conclusion to our series on spiritual gifts. Many Protestant studies on Lent seem to focus on poverty and service. Tomorrow, many practicing Catholics will seek absolution of sins via the sacrament of penance (contrition, confession and satisfactions). Penance could be manifest through prayer, fasting, charitable work or other restitutions.

In our discussion on spiritual gifts, I proposed that some spiritual gifts are also spiritual disciplines (e.g. discernment, evangelism, faith, giving, intercessory prayer, knowledge, wisdom and service). In discussion, it was felt that spiritual gifts are part of a larger picture. In essence, while beneficial to be aware of our spiritual gifts and ways in which we could use them to build up the body of believers, they should also not be our sole focus. What should be our sole focus is our relationship with God.

OK, but what is the purpose of Lent?
:: personal reflection and penitence
:: sacrificing our own will to the purpose of God
:: to commemorate the forty day fast of Christ in the wilderness which immediately followed His baptism or Moses' 40 days on Mt. Sinai or Noah's 40 days of rain or the disciples' 40 days with post-resurrection Jesus
:: fasting and repentance
:: regeneration
:: to do God's will more fully

What I hope to say tonight is that regardless of the fast we engage in or the spiritual discipline we choose to dwell upon, our intent should be to center our thoughts on God. As we seek God, as we know God more fully, as we draw closer to God -- God, through the Holy Spirit, may choose to endow us with spiritual gifts, to enable us to bear the fruit of the Spirit, incorporate us into His plan. Those "products" are not the point. The point is that we sought God.

Mere months ago, we celebrated Emmanuel -- God with us. How soon we forget. How soon we have an opportunity to remember.

I am created in the image of God. I bear God's image.

I was reflecting on those statements this evening and I ventured into the mental image of being a mirror, reflecting God to the world. I thought about it some more and realized my depiction was not good enough. Actually, I think it was wrong.

I am not called to be a mirror. That means I could simply be one of those "shell people" ... ready with a mask for every occasion, masquerading through life. Being a mirror means that I do not necessarily have to be a person of substance.

In all truth, being of God's image demands that my character, my actions, my speech, my decisions, my thoughts, all aspects of my person, must be of God's character, actions, speech, etc. It is not enough to mimic them to the world on the stage of life. They must be true aspects of my being.

I lamented that I lack a connection, a social connection, with people in my current location. She lamented that despite not going to "church" since July, no one has made comment. I commented that perhaps her church looks different than the typical gathering of individuals on any given Sunday morning. She commented that since her 'church' stopped going to the Sunday morning church she's wondered why she even went in the first place. We both agreed that no one is advocating for the unmarried young adult within the church. We are the forgotten, the overlooked, the ignored, the 'problem group' if you will -- no one is quite sure what to do with us. And no one comments when we're gone.

I am rather excited about the young adult Bible study that Duane and I have been preparing for the next few weeks. Before Christmas, a number of individuals expressed interest in looking at spiritual gifts. I thought it was a great idea but wanted to take it in a little bit of a different direction.
The young adults are figuring out their lives, who they are and what it is they want to do with their lives (or at least the next 5-10 years). I've been there and have worked through many of those issues. Not to say that I've entirely figured things out but I am beyond the initial panic.
In addition to looking at what spiritual gifts are/are not and trying out a few different spiritual gift inventories, we will also be incorporating a few ideas from the book, "Why you can't be anything you want to be" (AF Miller, Jr). Hopefully it will be a God-driven process through which they are able to gain a clearer sense of purpose and direction.

The Bible ... it can be intimidating, overwhelming, ancient, irrelevant, boring, unending and a whole host of other negatively-inclined adjectives. And even though I've been getting at this reading the Bible thing for quite a number of years now, I found it refreshing to hear some thoughts about starting to read the Bible.

RealLivePreacher is in the midst of a video series on "How to Read the Bible". (At the time of this post, there were five videos posted ... more promised and on the way.)

There's also a book that looks rather fascinating: Ryken's Bible Handbook (read the first chapter)

A few of you may have been fortunate quick enough to have caught my post from yesterday. It was a lamentful rant on a series of recent conversations with a particular individual. I was hurt and bewildered by the responses I was receiving. I took the post down, because it, like most things said in haste, shouldn't have been said at all. Or at least in this forum.
Clarity came in my church service today. The gist is that there's something to be said for praying for someone else to receive the thing that you yourself most desire.
I would really like a relationship. A certain relationship. I am frustrated by the current state of things with a certain individual.
And so, for the first year in a long time, I will make a new year's resolution (to keep at least for the first week). I will pray for my married friends, my dating friends and my single friends. Pray for their relationships ... with each other, with their families/loved ones, with their friends and with God.
God has given me the gift to serve, to wait on others. If I pray for your needs, God will give me patience in my desires. If I pray for your needs, as selfish as it sounds, it will likely bring me closer to my God. And closer to my God means closer to His plans. And that can never be a bad place to be.

One of the things that took a bit of getting used to while in Africa was a phenomenon we entitled "Gambian time". It didn't matter if work started at 8 and you showed up at 10:30 or if you didn't show up at your scheduled meeting (and didn't bother to call) or if people unexpectedly stopped in to visit. It was simply how things ran.
Being a typical North American, I am familiar with and operate quite well within time constraints. Before departing for Africa, people would ask what I would be doing for my two and a half weeks. I knew that I would be involved in some sort of pharmacist-type work but all I knew was that there was no plan. I think I'm fairly laissez-faire but having no plan made me wonder how it was all going to work out.
Yet to see those weeks unfold was most incredible; We accomplished goals, identified opportunities, networked and established connections for future trips, made friends, remained safe and healthy. God orchestrated an infinite number of details and worked me, an amateur, into the masterpiece.
This is the crux of the matter: I am learning to have faith that there is a plan in play. During our debrief, one of the guys (Alan) told me not to worry about what I thought I should have or what others might suggest I need. He said, "Look around Jenn. What you have is good. God is with you and is using you and is blessing you. What you have in your life is enough just as it is. If you needed something else, God would have provided it."

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11

Two thus saith's for today's reading pleasure.

The first is the blessing from mass last week:

May the Lord's presence be in everything you do this week.

The second is the passage offered to me at Bible study this evening:

Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Psalm 37:3-7

Truth be told, I'm not "excited" about heading off to Africa. Sure, I am looking forward to going but I'm not overwhelmingly emotive about the whole thing. And I find myself thinking about it as a "service as a pharmacist" versus a "mission to the people". Which isn't necessarily wrong ... my vocation, my calling, is as a pharmacist. It is in this role/profession that I serve God and others. Maybe it is that I cannot separate my work from my ministry--for they are one and the same. Truly, that is a fantastic thing. (It's wonderful that the afore mentioned insight "came" as I was typing.)

Africa is only half of the background behind the second saith. The other half is the tearing of my desires. How does one pray for another? Can one pray selfishly and simultaneously selflessly? What if the best for you does not appear to be the best for me? (and vice versa) I've struggled through balancing "it is/it is not" all about me in the recent past and I still find myself on the "not" side (i.e. it's all about you) most often. After a few moments of thinking, I have come to an answer of sorts: Prayer is not about asking questions or favours. Prayer is a dialogue and so conflicting motives, ends, means, requests, desires, or hopes matter little in and of themselves. It is the chance to lay the tangled mess before God. Prayer is an opportunity for God to be revealed.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for...
Hebrews 11:1a

So this thought conglomeration has been a long time in the coming; nearly a year and a half since I promised further comment on the topic on another's blog. At the time, I'd recently finished listening to a commentary on Pope JP II's Theology of the Body (Christopher West). It was then that I began to understand much of the Catholic point-of-view. A few months ago, in Ottawa, I met Nat who was emptying her bookshelves in anticipation of returning home to Australia. One of my finds was Sex and the Supremacy of Christ (ed, John Piper). At last I had found somewhat of a counterpoint in Protestant writing. Along the way, I was also given an article, Theological foundations for male-female relationships (Stanley Grenz), to further diversify my readings. Most recently, I came across Joe Carter's article, Redeeming Eros: A Christian View of Sex and the Imagination (thanks to TVFH).

Galatian's 1:1-5 has been what I've read for the past couple of days. Each time I read the passage, I'm amazed at what Paul has packed into such a few short lines. Short, concise, easily understandable ... yet could take ages to unravel all of the nuances.

Paul, an apostle--not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead--and all the brothers who are with me,

To the churches of Galatia:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

This November I will be heading to The Gambia, in Western Africa (map), for a missions trip with Christian Volunteer Movement.

There are many exciting things which I may be involved with. However, I am excited that I will be using my expertise as a pharmacist while I am there. Along with two other hospital pharmacists, I may be involved with developing medication kits for rural health workers, attending rounds in the hospital along with local physicians, organizing the hospital’s pharmacy dispensary and medication supplies, and/or teaching pharmacology courses at the local university.

Through a discussion with a work colleague, I was reminded that despite the fact that many of us live in neighbourhoods, a sense of community is often quite lacking. As I began thinking about this conversation, the upcoming trip to Africa and how God has blessed me with great abundance, I had an idea. I have a job that both pays well and offers flexibility in having time off. So I thought, if I have the time and financial resources to make the Africa trip possible what are ways that I could also benefit the local community? My solution .... you!

I have decided to use the resources God has entrusted to me to go to Africa. In turn, I want to extend the invitation to those who may have otherwise considered supporting me to instead support their local community with their own time and finances. Of course, your prayers for myself and other group members are highly valued.

If you decide to take me up on this opportunity, I'd love to hear how you got involved.

Back several churches ago, if one can measure time in that way, someone challenged a group of us to look for the signposts that God places in our lives. I was reminded of that as I walked home from Bible study this evening.

One of the blessings of living a block and a half from a farmer's field is that the city lights do not manage to obliterate the stars above. The art and science of using the heavens for navigation is surely waning. However, as I managed to pick out Ursa minor and Cassiopeia and Orion (and as the frigid air nipped at my nose while searching for the Pleiades), it struck me that these too are signposts.

One autumn, as I sat beside a quiet lake while a gentle breeze with the hint of winter whispered through the grasses at the waters edge, my first signpost was set: hunger. From there I set out to learn what it meant to hunger for God, to yearn, to crave, to desire.

This lead quite unobtrusively into the second signpost: fasting. This is why I have Isaiah 58 posted on the sidebar and by my kitchen sink. (The kitchen sink because I do enjoy washing dishes by hand--the location is a good reminder.) True fasting shows itself in our attitudes and actions.

I will always show you where to go. I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—firm muscles, strong bones. You'll be like a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past. You'll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.

Fasting took a long time for me to get. It took deserts and God removing the constants from my life; the things which I thought brought me stability only meant that I was desiring God less and trusting God less. My hope was not fully in Him. That was signpost number three.

The most recent signpost is that of taking a Sabbath. God has taught me to desire, to pursue, to set aside my worldly supports--now God is teaching me to entrust time to the One who is beyond time. I've said recently that my time is not my own; that my schedule is so chock full of meetings and to-do lists and engagements that I do not have time for me. I think that the first half of my statement is more true than I realize ... it is not my time to begin with but rather I have been entrusted with time in the same way I have been entrusted with material possessions. And I should not be surprized that there are guidelines for this thing called time; that in regular cyclical form I should be required to take a period of rest. It is a requirement, a commandment, one I do not regularly abide by.

Yesterday there was a fantastic discussion of "so what exactly is church and what should it be" and "what is a Sabbath anyway and do you observe it" at Bible study. It all began with a look at Psalm 84 and quickly moved onto the tangent at hand.

I recall Mark discussing Sabbath a ways back and then again more recently. In one of his dramatized version, RLP states "the Sabbath was made for people and not the other way around." Steve posted on "Why go to church", quoting Brian McLaren. I'm sure that this concept will come up as we discuss church over the next few weeks.

The question is this: Do you long to gather with other believers in such a fashion that is known as 'church'? If not, why? I sometimes find issue with church ... which proves slightly problematic. For the church is people -- people like me. So rather than bemoan the church collective, I ought to petition God to change me and be proactive in that same process. Join with me in this grassroots movement to revive the church from its slumber.

I believe that the underlying part of all of this is listening to the Holy Spirit and living out His leading within the framework of the Scriptures in the midst of godly community.
... Strong communities are self-correcting. But our churches have bought into the lie that what someone does is his/her own business. It's not, though. If you live in true community, it's the community's business, too.

The above excerpt is from a comment to Jan's post on perseverence. There is also further discussion on discernment and "our inability to distinguish the Spirit from the flesh". I wonder if people desire to be a part of such a community; a community in which all are actively participate in one another's discernment processes. One with trust and vulnerability. One where we learn to patiently wait on God. I am not truly patient but I am learning. Learning to give over control -- God's will versus Jenn's wants. Learning to live without my ducks in a row and details carefully sorted into boxes (boxes which are labelled, alphabetized, cross-referenced, archived and colour-coded). Learning to be silent and listen to the Spirit. Learning to seek community that asks tough questions and insists on accountability. Learning to continue to walk in faith, to keep moving, striving forward.

I get caught up in details from time to time. Still haven't worked through my Zephaniah 3:9 issue yet ... but I have another question.

Let the nations be aroused
And come up to the valley of Jehoshaphat,
For there I will sit to judge
All the surrounding nations.

Various translations do interesting things with quotation marks: NASB quotes v.1-8 only; NIV v.1-8, 12-13, 17-21; NKJV v. 1-8, 9-10, 12-13, 17, 19-21; ESV v. 1-8, 17-21.
Why am I intrigued with quotations? Verse 8 ends with something like thus saith the Lord--thus v. 1-8 are referencing speech, and some versions (ie. not NKJV) would suggest Joel begins speaking himself with the absence of quotations in verse 9.
If this line of reasoning is to continue, what do you then make of NASB and ESV lack of quotations in v. 12-13...notably in v. 12 for there I will sit to judge? Who exactly is sitting and judging? I would suggest "I" still refers to God. However, is there anything to be inferred by the fact that it is now Joel speaking and not God?
Not having an actual Strong's by my side (but only having a web version), tracking to whom/Whom this solitary pronoun belongs is a bit of a challenge. Indeed, my rather narrow focus may preclude some understanding of Joel's (God's) message. My Hebrew is not up to snuff either, otherwise I could simply read an untranslated version (trusting that a valid manuscript was used/manuscript pieces put together) and be done with it.
Anyone wishing to aid in this pronoun dilema would be most welcome to do so. Otherwise just add it to the 'just another eclectic thought from her head' pile.

On my way through the OT prophets, I've been stuck in Zephaniah for some time now. My recent hang up is Zeph 3:9 ...

For at that time I will change the speech of the peoples to a pure speech,
that all of them may call upon the name of the LORD and serve him with one accord.

I've read a variety of commentaries with a close eye on the author's theological viewpoint. (If anyone actually comments on this post, I am sure your theological viewpoint will also be evident.) The commentaries I've looked at don't really help my cause. I think what I need is a good discussion; the sort that happen at odd hours of the day when good company comes together.

I suppose my ponderings at present stem from the fact that I had to go look up Arminianism versus Calvinism (pre/post-TULIP) the other day. [While those terms sound familiar, I would have been stuck to have had to discuss either in any detail.] Joel 2:32, Gen 4:26, Ps 22:27 ... they all dance around the idea in Zeph 3:9 and I think are often cross-referenced. Maybe I should draw my line in the sand and declare myself on one side or the other. As I try to place my own theology in a nutshell, and in lieu of good company gathered in my livingroom, your own thoughts and insights are most welcomed.

RLP:

A burning bush would be nice. Moses got one, and he wasn’t even a nice guy. He was on the lam at the time, running from a murder rap back in Egypt. So why can’t a nice guy like me get a burning bush every once in awhile?

I want to see God and to know God’s presence. I want to see God in a clear, unambiguous way that cannot be misunderstood or misinterpreted. And there is something about the clarity that a God-fire in the wilderness provides. You see it. You smell it. You hear it. Yes, that is God. No doubt about it.

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“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.” -John Donne, Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions: Meditation XVII

If I understand myself primarily as a Texan, then problems in California will not matter as much to me.

If I understand myself primarily as a citizen of the “White” state, then problems in the “Black” or “Hispanic” states won’t upset me much. They are not the problems of my state, therefore they are trivial.

If I understand myself primarily as a citizen of “Straight,” then the problems of “Homosexual” don’t affect me.

If I understand myself primarily as an American, well then, the problems of Sudan, Haiti, Iran, Indonesia, etc., don’t affect me.

How much more and I unaffected if I define myself in increasingly tighter circles, and concern myself only with the issues that face White, straight, male Texas Christians?

Read what Greg wrote in full.

For the first 40 minutes, I was sure no one was showing up. Wait, actually for the first 10 minutes I was eagerly awaiting folks, and then gave up for the next half hour -- resigning myself to a relaxing evening in a recently cleaned livingroom/kitchen. Then Duane showed up. We watched the home run derby and drank coffee and had a grand ol' time. Unfortunately, the mini-Bible study I'd planned didn't get discussed. And, since you're all very eager to know what I would have said on Monday evening (that is to say, what I had planned to say with utmost hope that God would breathe life and wisdom into my allocution) ... read on for my notes on Joel 2:1-11.

PS - I have been using this handy new site (eBible.com). It's currently in it's beta (testing) phase and sign-up is by invite only. (I've got a couple if you're interested; first come, first serve.) Essentially it allows you to tag whatever you want across 6 versions, 3 dictionaries, 3 encyclopedias and one commentary. Others are available to purchase. Rumour has it that folks may be able to add their own notes in the future. Biblegateway.com is still more extensive, but eBible.com may just end up with the added benefit of saved searches and bookmarks/tags.

There is no kind of loneliness more lonely than when no one in the world knows who you are. When there is no one waiting to see the tender and fragile thing you pull out of your chest like taking a hamster out of its cage. There is no one there, but you know what it would be like.

continue reading at RLP

Thank God for Tupperware. That's not supposed to be sacrilegious in the least. Let me explain.

Exactly one week ago I hosted a Tupperware party. Remember those fantastic events that your mother took you to as a child? Wonderful afternoons of playing with the neighbour kid and eating loads of cheese and crackers and handfuls of squares. Well, I guess it was inevitable that I too should some day grow up and have my own Tupperware party. (There was only one wee one in attendance at my party however.)

The reason I say 'thank God for Tupperware' is not because of the durable product, the great warranty, or even the free stuff I got from hosting. You see, the thing about hosting such a party is one require people to attend such a party. And frankly, I often feel very alone and without community after nearly a year in my current locale. Now, looking back at last Friday, I realize that I do indeed have community. It's not necessarily what I intended it to look like, and there are still missing pieces, but that doesn't make it any less of a community.

And that is one blessing I've counted every day this past week.

Meg wrote:

There is a song by the group, 10,000 Maniacs, in which lead singer, Natalie Merchant sings (lucky for you, I won’t be singing it)

“Trouble me.
Disturb me with all your cares and your worries.
Trouble me on the day when you feel spent.
Speak to me when your silence is my biggest fear.
Don’t spare me anything.”

What if we prayed as though those were Christ’s words to us? And, in fact, they are. That is the difference that Christ’s ascension into heaven and place at the Right Hand of God as our mediator makes.

“Since, then, we have a Great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but we have one who in every respect has been tested, as we are, yet without sin. Let us, therefore, approach the Throne of Grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Amen.

This has been a long time in the coming. A few weeks ago, a friend asked why I have developed such an interest in Catholicism. My answer at the time relates to a close friend back in the 'Peg. Over the past couple of years, we have had many long and deep conversations comparing Catholicism and Protestantism. While we have certainly found our differences, we have also found many similarities. I have reexamined the roots of my faith via the reformation, the early church fathers and Jewish tradiiton. The things I read, religious or otherwise, are not always those that confirm my currently held beliefs. They are things that will challenge me -- either strengthening or reforming my views. With that prologue, I will venture into the world of Protestant benediction versus non-Catholic receipt of blessing during the Eucharist.