In reading the ensuing discussion (Todd @ Singles Out Loud via Jan), I was reminded of a nagging question in the back of my mind ... do we teach people how to treat us? If we establish boundaries/rules, and stick to them, will we get the commitment we so desire? Are we perceived as being of higher value/importance/worth/respect? Are we taken more seriously?
Josie: "With the wisdom of hindsight, I can see in our dating relationship that I unwittingly called Todd higher into the man I wanted him to be. I broke up with him possibly in order to get him to step up to the plate but without any definite expectation that he would. It wasn't a game, I was setting a standard. On each occasion Todd came back better than before. You get what you tolerate. (emph. mine)