To begin this whole blog thing, I thought I'd simply copy entries from a previous online journal. Enjoy.
Thank God for Cucumbers - 8/9/2002
Thank You Lord for cucumbers.
Yes, they are not much - and they are mostly water - but still, thank You from the bottom of my soul.
All it took was the first cucumber from the garden to bring a smile to my face. Fresh, juicy, full of flavor ... that cucumber was part of what it took to bring me back to meet with God.
I felt horrible at work. The perpetual bad mood wasn't something I enjoyed - yet there I was, choosing to stay there. Even the sun glinting off the leaves outside my window didn't bring me hope.
Still, I knew it was a choice. So, sitting at my desk, I began to plan my date with God. I wanted to run away and spend time with the One who was always by my side. The same One I had been taking for granted, even ignoring.
So arriving home and deciding to look through the neglected garden before running away, a large garden cucumber lay before me in plain view.
God enabled the seed to grow. Yes, I did plant the seed, and water a few times, and remove a few weeds. But despite my neglect, God made it grow. And then I ate it.
First God gave me the simple joy of a cucumber. Then He took me in, showed me my wrongs, and set me back upon the Rock.
Amazing love, how can it be,
That You, my King, should die for me?
Family Part 1 - 8/10/2002
Sometimes I dread family get-togethers with my dad's side of the family. I'm not sure why. When I was younger, I think I really looked forward to the times when all of us would be together.
Now the dad's side of my family is pretty large. He has 11 brothers and sisters - most of whom are married and have several children. The grandkids have also begun to get married and have their own children. So a typical family thing ends up being at least 35 people - Christmas is a whole other thing entirely.
So tonight was a celebration of my paternal grandma's birthday - she's 82. I really want to be like her when I'm 82. She doesn't move very fast - which is probably a good thing ... the world moves fast enough as it is. She really likes to cook - which is also good because some of my cousins can eat a lot ... especially mashed potatoes and pickles (not together - some eat potatoes and others eat pickles). And she's always excited to see everyone - truly, deeply and from the bottom of her heart. She really makes you glad to be there.
So why don't I really like these family gatherings? Maybe I've become too much like the world and am growing too cynical. (They always go too long. It gets too cliquey. After four hours, the little ones can get really cranky ... the big ones too sometimes.) But when I think about it, I'd have to say that I'd miss those times together if I couldn't go one day.
Take my cousin Matthew. I think he's 15 now (ages are hard to remember when you have so many cousins). He also has Down's Syndrome. Sometimes it's frustrating because he acts differently and requires a fair bit of supervision. But like my wonderful grandma, he simply moves at a different pace than the rest of us. Tonight he was playing with a cloth napkin in front of a fan. The most basic elements and yet it had him captivated.
That worries me ... when was the last time I've ever been captivated? When was the last time I studied something to discover it to its fullest? When was I last amazed? I need to get that again.
Then there are the older cousins who bring a significant other to the gathering. Sometimes the other comes to one or two gatherings and then fades into history. But sometimes, they become part of the family, and end up sharing their unique perspective as dinner turns into endless cups of coffee. And with so many people, it's easy to see why these gatherings end up lasting so long. You have to meet everyone, catch up on their lives, and they on yours. The cousins have to play together. The babies have their naps. This dishes need to get done, and more baking brought out from its hiding places to go along with all that coffee.
And that is what my family is. A whole bunch of people, as far apart as they may be, coming together as one family - who care and love and pray for each other.
What more could a girl want?
Family - Part 2 - 8/11/2002
I can't remember the last time a laughed really hard.
It happened last night. I went home to see my parents and my brother while waiting for a worship practice at church (and to get a free supper).
It all began when my parents suggested we all play tile rummy. Now tile rummy is a very complicated game for both my brother and I. Eat turn takes at least 8 minutes, during which every single piece on the table is rearranged in just about every possible permutation possible in order that just maybe one of our pieces can be played.
I suppose every family has one of those games that become fiercely competitive and full of humour all at the same time.
During the course of the game, it occured to me that the rest of my family would begin to mock me during my turn.
Example: I was trying to free a yellow 6 which I earnestly was trying to get so I could play my yellow 4,5,7 and 8. After about 5 minutes, it appeared as though my complex tile moving was not going to accomplish my goal. So I set about at returning the respective pieces to their original locations. Only 2 plays after did I realized that my yellow 7 was still on the table, and yet all the other pieces were back. Had I removed 2 pieces from the table in error?
Thus on future plays, my family would 'help' me by moving a red 4 to a red 2, 3, 4 run and then moving the 2nd 4 to the 1st 4's location - a complete mockery of my complex strategy (if I happened to have any that turn). Of course my mother had to say just then that they all were sharp as bananas. I don't know where that comment came from, but as I tried to picture it (sharp bananas) I laughed so hard I began to cry. And of course, my family laughed at (with?) me.
Well, so the afternoon progressed - and the game skills recessed into a faint memory.
It's been a long time since I've laughed with my family. When we do get together, someone is in a bad mood and someone else gets defensive - part of the reason why I moved out a year ago. I couldn't handle that stress.
Yet, I'd forgotten all the time we tended to spend together. Not needing to go out and spend money. Content to stay home and, together, simply be - not needing to do anything. Open to discussion, ready for a good long laugh, and sleeping the night away with smiles on our faces.